Tuesday, July 17, 2007

post baby brain dead

My newborn turns 1 July 27. Where did the year go? He is also our last as dh took the plunge and fixed himself. He actually did it right before baby was born. I am ok with it, as of right now. He was so adamant about not having any more kids, and honestly, the thought of doing the newborn thing again right now isn't too appealing. I really want to enjoy the boys now. BUT...I am sad that my newborn is going to be a year old. I am getting off track of my title. I don't know about anyone else, but for a year after the birth of one of my kids, I have the brain power equivalent to a highly trained gorilla. That may be giving myself too much credit. At least the gorilla can be artistic and can paint a little. Honestly, my brain goes out the window. I lose most of my vocabulary and a ton of my creative juices. I LOVE to be creative in the kitchen, but that first year is pretty bland come dinner time. I am lucky to get meat and steamed veggies on the plate. I also have zero desire to do any decorating in the house. I am a minimalist already, when it comes to my decorating style, but during that first year, I can't imagine rearranging the mantel or changing out the kid's pictures. I am coming out of the fog now. I have gone back to baking my famous sourdough bread. My backyard neighbor has been caring for a sourdough starter for 15 years, and a couple months ago, she let me have a cup of it. I am in heaven. I never buy bread anymore. I do it the old fashioned way too. No bread makers here. I love pounding out the dough, but love even more, the smell of the bread baking in my home. I have started to get the kids involved in helping me bake, and have found it to be a great thing to pass on to my sons (since I have no daughters). I also have an apple tree in my backyard and recently started canning Apple Butter for the first time. I have never attempted canning because it sounded so complicated, but my brain works again and I can actually follow written instructions without a mental breakdown. Even the food I am cooking tastes better. Am I the only one who experiences this? I did give myself a break this last child and took it as a year to simplify. I recognized what was happening and just went with it, instead of times in the past, when I thought something was seriously wrong with me. I didn't even go through the whole..." I AM LOSING WHO I AM" syndrome. Come on, ladies, you know what I am talking about. You know the dreaded episode of you sobbing to your husband about losing your identity, and feeling like all you have to offer the world is changing diapers and cleaning up spills. And your husband looks at you with half sympathy and half serious concern that his wife is cracking up, and tries to comfort you by saying how good of a diaper changer and spill cleaner you really are and he would never trade you...GOD HELP OUR MEN!!! (please forgive the major run-on sentences, and poor grammar. My child is officially still 11 months old)


dcrmom said...

I love apple butter. Made some last fall, and we are on our last jar. Boohoo. I need to make some more, come September.

weavermom said...

This was almost too true to be funny! But I sure did laugh. :)

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