Ok...I start my diet tomorrow....

How many times have I said that? I usually say it right after a huge, fattening meal. I have been wanting to get back on Weight Watchers for a while now. I have 12-15 more pounds to lose to get to my goal. Weight Watchers works so well for me, personally, that I should probably be able to get it off in about 4 weeks. I lost 33 pounds on it before I quit and I haven't gained any of it back. Mind you, 30 pounds of that was after 3rd baby. I am just so tired of not being happy in my own skin. I remember feeling so content in my skin, when I got married, that I didn't even mind facing the mirror while I ate at the Olive Garden. So, I am posting this to the world ( or the 2 of you that actually read this) that as of Sat. I am back on WW. I have 23 points a day to spend. I will be writing down EVERYTHING I eat. I have a WW journal, so don't worry. You don't have to endure reading how many crackers I had in a day. Feel free to ask me every now and then if I am keeping up with it. I probably will post if I've had a weight loss or gain. And I will definitely tell you when I get to my goal. If anyone out there wants to be WW buddies, just let me know.

poopathon

Why do men get an hour in the bathroom to do their business? It doesn't take me that long, not even close. I get in - I get out! I lock the door because I am not one for a preschool audience. That is where I draw the line. Because of that, I spend most of my time speaking/yelling in a loud voice to whomever is having the current meltdown on the other side of my locked door, that I will be out in a minute, and they better not break my door. Other people in this world (not naming names) feel that the bathroom is a secret hiding place, a haven from the cares of life. Entire Sudoku books have been completed in just a few of these sessions. "GET A GRIP, GUYS....YOU CAN POOP WHEN THEY GRADUATE!" I'm just sayin........

post baby brain dead

My newborn turns 1 July 27. Where did the year go? He is also our last as dh took the plunge and fixed himself. He actually did it right before baby was born. I am ok with it, as of right now. He was so adamant about not having any more kids, and honestly, the thought of doing the newborn thing again right now isn't too appealing. I really want to enjoy the boys now. BUT...I am sad that my newborn is going to be a year old. I am getting off track of my title. I don't know about anyone else, but for a year after the birth of one of my kids, I have the brain power equivalent to a highly trained gorilla. That may be giving myself too much credit. At least the gorilla can be artistic and can paint a little. Honestly, my brain goes out the window. I lose most of my vocabulary and a ton of my creative juices. I LOVE to be creative in the kitchen, but that first year is pretty bland come dinner time. I am lucky to get meat and steamed veggies on the plate. I also have zero desire to do any decorating in the house. I am a minimalist already, when it comes to my decorating style, but during that first year, I can't imagine rearranging the mantel or changing out the kid's pictures. I am coming out of the fog now. I have gone back to baking my famous sourdough bread. My backyard neighbor has been caring for a sourdough starter for 15 years, and a couple months ago, she let me have a cup of it. I am in heaven. I never buy bread anymore. I do it the old fashioned way too. No bread makers here. I love pounding out the dough, but love even more, the smell of the bread baking in my home. I have started to get the kids involved in helping me bake, and have found it to be a great thing to pass on to my sons (since I have no daughters). I also have an apple tree in my backyard and recently started canning Apple Butter for the first time. I have never attempted canning because it sounded so complicated, but my brain works again and I can actually follow written instructions without a mental breakdown. Even the food I am cooking tastes better. Am I the only one who experiences this? I did give myself a break this last child and took it as a year to simplify. I recognized what was happening and just went with it, instead of times in the past, when I thought something was seriously wrong with me. I didn't even go through the whole..." I AM LOSING WHO I AM" syndrome. Come on, ladies, you know what I am talking about. You know the dreaded episode of you sobbing to your husband about losing your identity, and feeling like all you have to offer the world is changing diapers and cleaning up spills. And your husband looks at you with half sympathy and half serious concern that his wife is cracking up, and tries to comfort you by saying how good of a diaper changer and spill cleaner you really are and he would never trade you...GOD HELP OUR MEN!!! (please forgive the major run-on sentences, and poor grammar. My child is officially still 11 months old)

Love Languages

DH and I recently read a book together called, "The 5 Love Languages." He actually got me 2 copies for my Christmas gift because we had a $10 spending limit on each other's gifts, and I have asked him the entire 11 years of our marriage to read a book with me. BTW, DH got a sterling silver ring to replace his wedding band that he lost a few weeks earlier, but that is a different and much longer story. Back to the book...it was great. The book helps you to understand the way in which you receive love and then how your spouse receives love. Some may receive through physical touch, acts of service, gifts, quality time, or affirming words. We usually try to force our love to our spouse in the way that comes most naturally to us, our own love language, but unless they, themselves speak that language, you are fighting an uphill battle. I learned that my love language is Quality Time. This explains so much about me. It explains why I react like I do to flippant friends, and why I get miffed if a parent doesn't connect with me when we are together. But it really explains my relationship with hubby. He was relieved to discover that I wasn't just a needy wife. As most of you know, when you have small children, date nights don't come so easily. We used to go out Friday and Sat. before kids. Then with just one kid, we still got out once a week together. Now we are lucky if we have an actual date once a month. I am ok with this as long as the time we do share, say, after kids are in bed, is, for the most part, connecting time. Well, I was starving for some quality time with hubby. I just missed him, even though we were together all the time. The 2 older boys spent the night at Grandma and Grandpa's and we put baby to bed around 8:30. I had cooked a brisket the night before and had it all ready when baby fell asleep. I resisted the urge to make our plates and plop in the recliner and let my eyes roll into the back of my head as we watch something unwatchable because Lost and 24 are on break. I lit candles and turned on some old standards on the radio. We sat and ate and talked for an hour and a half. It was just as good as being on a a date. Now I feel like a new person. I feel connected and secure with dh, and I feel like taking on the world again knowing I have a partner in this world.

staying above it all

I am a firm believer that Christ came to give us an abundant life while we're on this earth. I am so trying to be an overcomer in this life. I know that life comes with hardships and trials but that the Lord gives us the blessing of His peace, joy, and strength in the midst of the hard times. My issue right now is not being dragged down by people around me who are in rotten moods. In the past, I was easily swayed by the prevailing "tude" around me. My mil has always told me that the woman sets the tone of the home. Notice I am not naming any names of WHO has the "tude" in my home today. hahaha. Anyway, I don't want it to get on me. I want to stay above it. I felt God's presence in such an awesome way today at church. The "tude" had been going on since last night, so I was ready for a break in atmosphere. I heard on the radio that praise brings God near. I like that phrase. ANYWHO...I felt that heaviness lift right off me during worship today. Just focusing on the Lord brought me such peace. I wish everyone around me could've received it......Now that I am back home, I want to keep above the negative. Remember I am trying to tune into His voice more. So I am taking control of the atmosphere. I am getting off this computer, turning off every tv in the house, and turning up some praise songs. Praise brings Him near....

fun night with the fam

Tonight when dh got home we went to Chick Fil A with all 3 boys for dinner. Dh and I are taking a Dave Ramsey course at our church called "Financial Peace University." We are on a really tight budget right now so every penny counts. In fact, we are on a "strictly cash" budget. It feels good to hand someone cash instead of my debit card. ANYWAY, we had 2 free kids meals coupons from Samuel's Kindergarten that we shamelessly used. Because of the money we saved we were able to go get Milwaukee Joe's Ice cream afterwards. Their "Almond Joy" ice cream is the absolute best ice cream in the world. On the way home, the baby decided to be a cranky pants, so we sang silly songs all the way home. Dh found a way to turn the Noah song into a song about poo and toots, so the boys thought it was great. DH and I are going to Cancun in Oct. without kids for a production trip that he won at work. We didn't get to go last year because baby was too young. This means I need to work on weaning baby who will be one year old this month. He rarely nurses during the day, so it should be easy. I also cringe at the thought of being on a beach with my body so un-toned. I'd like to lose 10-12 more pounds and really tone up my arms, abs, and booty. I lost all of my pregnancy weight doing WW but got bored with it and gave it up right before I hit my goal. I could probably lose the 10 pounds in a few weeks if I would just do WW religiously. WHY DON'T I JUST DO IT??? I don't need to go to meetings. I know the program back and forth. I keep mixing up all these other weight loss ideas, which isn't working. Like I take a little from this program, and a little from that. I pretty much eat what I want and am able to maintain where I am at, which makes me feel encouraged that if I could just get rid of that extra 10 pounds that I could then maintain pretty easily. I also want to start doing some sit-ups, push ups, and wall squats each night. That with riding my bike every once in a while should do what I want. But when kids go to bed I am so lazy. I just want to veg. I have at least stopped eating after dinner. This is huge because dh and I love to reward a hard day when kids are in bed with a big bowl of delicious cereal. That was killing my figure. It is a mental challenge to not go get cereal, but instead go to bed a little hungry. I really need to buy some cute sun dresses too, but don't want to spend much money for them. Ok, the reason I am randomly rambling is because dh just put boys in bath, and baby is asleep. I have the whole house to myself and it is so quiet. HEAVEN!!!

Well, here I go

Well, I am the queen of procrastination, but after reading my friend's blog for so long (thank you, Nicole) I feel like this may be a way for me to process my day. I might even see some growth. This summer has been good, for the most part. Having 3 small children at home during a summer of rain almost everyday has had its challenges. My boys have felt caged in, at times. However, I have seen them get really creative and play more using their imaginations. My boys are 6, 3, and 11 mo. The two older ones have warrior spirits and LOVE playing with swords. They also love setting up battles with their castle men, dinosaurs, Star Wars action figures, and whatever else will stand at attention near their Fisher Price castle. Having a baby this last year has been such a blessing. He has been my easiest so far. I think I am much calmer and definitely more care free with my mothering. I have finally gotten good at listening to my instincts. I wasn't around my own mother growing up, so being a good, nurturing mother is very important to me. I am not looking forward to this fall because my 6 year old will start 1st grade at the local public school, which means up early for me 5 days a week. I am NOT a morning person, and neither is my 6 year old. It will be a growing experience for both of us. I look forward to rambling some more later. This is fun!!!